obviously, this is going to be a post about a girl whom i either saw at a coffee shop, or in this case, works at the shop where i buy my coffee every morning. now there are actually two girls i really want to write about but i feel it is only fair to write about one here and then the other in a new post. they each deserve their own posting because there are oh so different. I'll start with the semi new girl. by semi new, i mean she has been working there for not as long as the other one.
she's a bitch. never have i ever felt the cold shoulder so many times for no other reason than my early morning existence. i arrive every morning around 7.30-8 for a large cup and a bagel. i smile, ask how her day is, or i ask the guy who always works with her how he's doing. the guy is nice. kinda weird, but nice. sometimes the girl gives me a half hearted attempt at a smile, sometimes she doesn't even respond. she gives me this look of total indifference the majority of the time and i get the feeling that i did something horrible to her like ran into her at a bar and was really sleazy and tried to use some kind of "hey, you make my coffee" kind of pick up line, but I know that i didn't do that because i am in control of my drinking at all times. right. but seriously, i never would do something like that and i feel like if i really did, i would never be able to go back to the shop again because i would be too embarrassed. and if i saw her at a bar, i don't even think i would talk to her because she wouldn't acknowledge me and it would be so easy for her to totally play the "oh, you go to the place where i work? cool. i don't recognize you" role. oh, she hasn't apologized once out of the many times she has either forgotten my order or totally messed up my bagel. and I'm not too picky, but when you give ma sesame bagel with egg salad instead of a wheat with peanut butter, I'm gonna ask for my original order. I'm not trying to b difficult, but c'mon. it's a fucking bagel.
all this shit aside though, she's really attractive. i keep smiling and hoping I'll get one in return. i overheard a conversation she was having the other day (creepy, i know, but c'mon, we're in a public space and she's standing 3 feet in front of me talking to her coworker) and i know that she goes to city college and is taking afternoon and night classes. not sure in what, but that's cool. i admire people in school. maybe because i work in one. what the hell am i doing writing about her going to school. she's beautiful. large hazel eyes, straight light brown/dark blond hair, beautiful mouth, even though i have yet to see it smile. and i only really see her face because she is standing behind a counter, but i imagine her to be somewhat fit. i have often found myself wondering if she pays soccer on weekends or runs in golden gate park after work. why do i wonder these things? why do i keep smiling even though i know nothing will absolutely ever happen even if she did? i think it is fun to torture myself with innocent fantasies of conversations with girls i meet or encounter on a regular basis (like the math teacher whose first name i still don't know at work but really try hard not to fall over myself when i see her in the main office picking up her mail).
I didn't eat dinner tonight and I think that is why I am thinking about following up this entry with another one. we'll see.