I'm in New York and it's cold. I took the red eye flight on virgin america last night and got about 3 hours of sleep. It was a fine flight, aside form the panic attack I had. It was crazy. I woke up about an hour into the flight and felt off. It kept getting worse and I started sweating this cold, nasty sweat, but just on my neck and head. Then my heart started to beat fast, rapidly increasing. At first I thought I was going to literally die and had no idea why. I thought it had something to do with my sinuses being stuffed up form being sick and that it was putting so much pressure on my brain that I was having an aneurysm or something but then I realized I was going to be okay and started to breathe deeply and calmly in through my nose and out of y mouth and was able to calm myself down. At one point I almost peed my pants because I was too afraid to get up and walk to the front of the cabin because I was thought I would back out and fall and that would be really fucking awkward because it could have been a repeat of the comic con misadventure at dick's last resort that I will not write about because it is behind me now and I am embarrassed.
Aside from the panic attack, the flight as fine. I drank the water I brought with me in my klean kanteen and didn't eat or drink any of the airplane drinks or food(Not that that is any big deal. I just felt like giving klean kanteen a plug because they're a pretty awesome company I found out about from a fishing guide I had on the McCloud River in Northern California).
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Me Grow Mustache - Week 4 - Final entry
Yep, that's all folks. No more mustache for mr.hustle. After four weeks, this is all I could muster. I hated pretty much every second of it. I caught myself doing this thing where I would dip my upper lip into my mouth and get whatever liquid was left from a beverage after sipping or as just a random act that was to acknowledge the fact that I had a weird growth on my upper lip every now and again and even now as I write this I find myself doing it once in a while even though there is no hair there. gross. but I find myself missing the mustache for some reason. I mean, it didn't really look good, but it was a part of me for a whole month. it's kind of like when amputees say their leg hurts even though it was cut off. not at all like that actually, but kind of a little bit maybe. either way, i no longer harbor hair on my upper lip and it feels fucking great. thank you to everyone who showed their support in one way or another. due to your kindness, I was able to raise $1071.21 for prostate cancer and testicular cancer research! I think that is pretty amazing as the majority of my friends who helped me out in this have entry level or second tier jobs that don't provide them with enough cash to be frivolous yet you found it in your hearts to help out. it meant and still means a lot. maybe some of you will join me next MOvember and together we can raise even more money and awareness.
oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we took our family christmas card picture on Thanksgiving while I still had the mustache, so everyone my mom sends it to, which is nearly 250 people, will see this:
my mom has been describing the mustache as a "worm on my upper lip" and she says that when the photo is shrunken down to 4x6, you can't see him. thanks mom.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Me Grow Mustache - Week 3
Yep, you guessed it, by this picture I think you can tell how fucking ready I am for this hair to be off of my face. More people are noticing it and commenting, which is kind of good because that means it IS visible, however, it also means complete strangers are noticing it and making assumptions about who I am and what I am about. Let's face it: Mustaches are kinda shady. Not the kind of shady where you cross the street when you see one headed your way but the kind of shady where you wouldn't leave your girlfriend at the bar next to one for fear of unwanted awkwardness. Please, scroll down to Week 1 and donate to my cause. I need it.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Me Grow Mustache - Week 2
I will be the first to admit that my mustache fucking sucks. It is light, uneven, and not growing very fast. at all. however, I have the best friends and family in the world because they have been donating to my pathetic mustache. I have 12 days left and it looks like I haven't shaved in 3 days. I am waiting for my late bloomer facial hair growth spurt, but it ain't coming. I am debating about whether or not I should keep growing it until it reaches a size and shape that I envisioned when taking on this task. I will probably just shave it as soon as I possibly can though. We, as in myself and the other 15 teachers (all of whom have bigger, better mustaches at this point) will be taking a group photo of our accomplishments on December 1st at school. I can't wait for this shit to be over. If anything changes (i.e. sudden spurt of facial hair growth that renders me Selleck-esque), I will be posting immediately on this site, so check back hourly for updates.
The first picture I took was going to be the standard pose for my updates, however I received quite a bit of feedback saying I looked like I was fresh out of the pen (amongst other, more inappropriate responses), so I am trying new poses. Please let me know if you have any suggestions for further poses.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Me Grow Mustache - Week 1
Well, to those of you who are unaware, I am currently participating in what is known as MOvember. For the month of November, I along with a team consisting of other teachers at my school, are growing mustaches for the sake of raising money and awareness for prostate cancer research. yes, you heard correctly. by me growing a mustache, you will donate money to help research prostate cancer. and it's working. but not enough. I need you to donate to me or my team and I need you to tell everyone you know to donate as prostate cancer affects 1 in 6 men in their lifetime. last year, 29,000 men lost their lives to prostate cancer. this is no joke. below you will find the necessary information for donating. I will be updating this with pictures of my mustache for your enjoyment. (please forgive the fact that I have the facial hair growth of a 12 year old)
To donate to my Mo you can either:
Click this link https://www.movember.com/us/donate and donate online using your credit card or PayPal account
or
Write a check payable to the 'Prostate Cancer Foundation', referencing my Registration Number 1351786 and mailing it to:
Prostate Cancer Foundation
Attn: Movember
1250 Fourth St
Santa Monica, CA, 90401
All donations are tax-deductible to the extent permitted by law.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
And the winner is...
The Abominable Snowman!!! That's right faithful readers, the winner of the most attractive man contest between the Abominable Snowman, Bigfoot, Chupacabra, and Ryan Silberman was completed yesterday in a 5-0-0-3 victory in favor of the Abominable Snowman. Bigfoot was reportedly crying in his cave in the woods and the Chupacabra continued drooling the blood of goats and small children it has been eating for centuries while Ryan simply said, "Duh. I knew I was going to lose as soon as I saw the Abominable Snowman listed because he's one handsome fella." That was almost as good as McCain's concession speech last night. Tune in every day as I might actually update this blog again.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Eyewear Trends*
I wear glasses. Every day, all day. Why? Because I have to. Now I have noticed over past year or so that more and more people are wearing glasses. Are our eyes getting worse? Are people opting out of contacts for the glasses? No and no. What we have now is an epidemic being spread amongst the masses perpetrated by hipster scum where people purchase glasses that have no prescription in them. Yes, you heard me right. NO PRESCRIPTION. Now, seeing as how I have worn glasses since I was a junior in high school, I can tell you, it's not something I would ever willingly choose to do. They get in the way of a lot of things like when I would like to kiss a lady friend or when I want to wear a pair of regular sunglasses. Now these might seem like little things to most, however, on a regular, day to day basis, these things get a bit frustrating. Now you might be thinking to yourself, "Quit whining and get contacts." Yes. I should. But I can't. For some reason, I have the most gorgeous eyelashes in the world. They are long and elegant and graceful and are actually sought after by many. I also have astigmatism which means the actual lenses I need are much larger than regular lenses. So, when my astigmatism-ed contact lenses have tried to meet my eyes through the most beautiful eyelashes in the world, it doesn't work out. I seriously cannot put them in. So I am forced to wear glasses so that I can see. But I digress. This post is in no way meant to make you feel bad about how amazing my eyelashes are.
To the strangers who see me at a bar and say, "Hey, nice glasses. Are they real?", you can take your wayfarers and sit on them, breaking the arm until you can buy a new pair and then do the same thing again. Yes, they're real. Why would I ever want to wear something that is completely unnecessary unless I have bad eyes or need eye protection while shooting a gun? It makes no sense to me. I enjoy snowboarding quite a bit but I am hindered by my glasses. I had to buy a special insert that goes into my goggles that gives me the same prescription as my glasses only to have the piece of plastic fog up and cause me to crash. If I didn't need glasses, I would not wear them. Period. Wearing unprescriptioned glasses is like wearing a helmet while watching television. It makes you look retarded.
I don't even know how to verbalize my disgust for those who unnecessarily wear glasses. Actually, it ios mostly directed towards the men. Women, you wear ridiculous accessories all the time because you are women and that is somewhat acceptable. I am still a bit bothered by the unnecessary glasses, but whatevs. It's the dudes that really bother me.
Men do not wear accessories.
The only "accessory" that is acceptable is a watch, and I don't really consider that an accessory because it serves a purpose of telling time, unless of course you are euro trash and you wear the thick leather banded watch that is way more jewelry than time piece, in which case you need to stop it. now. I can maybe see a small ring or maybe even a necklace, hidden from view, as being close to acceptable (but not quite) but if you are a guy and you are wearing glasses that only serve the purpose of looking cool, then you are no longer a man. You are a whore of the industry and there will one day be a book written about you aptly titled, "Unnecessary Trends: What Really Led to the Downfall of American Society".
I hate you for wearing my pain as your style.
*This post is from another blog I participate in. You can view the original here.
To the strangers who see me at a bar and say, "Hey, nice glasses. Are they real?", you can take your wayfarers and sit on them, breaking the arm until you can buy a new pair and then do the same thing again. Yes, they're real. Why would I ever want to wear something that is completely unnecessary unless I have bad eyes or need eye protection while shooting a gun? It makes no sense to me. I enjoy snowboarding quite a bit but I am hindered by my glasses. I had to buy a special insert that goes into my goggles that gives me the same prescription as my glasses only to have the piece of plastic fog up and cause me to crash. If I didn't need glasses, I would not wear them. Period. Wearing unprescriptioned glasses is like wearing a helmet while watching television. It makes you look retarded.
I don't even know how to verbalize my disgust for those who unnecessarily wear glasses. Actually, it ios mostly directed towards the men. Women, you wear ridiculous accessories all the time because you are women and that is somewhat acceptable. I am still a bit bothered by the unnecessary glasses, but whatevs. It's the dudes that really bother me.
Men do not wear accessories.
The only "accessory" that is acceptable is a watch, and I don't really consider that an accessory because it serves a purpose of telling time, unless of course you are euro trash and you wear the thick leather banded watch that is way more jewelry than time piece, in which case you need to stop it. now. I can maybe see a small ring or maybe even a necklace, hidden from view, as being close to acceptable (but not quite) but if you are a guy and you are wearing glasses that only serve the purpose of looking cool, then you are no longer a man. You are a whore of the industry and there will one day be a book written about you aptly titled, "Unnecessary Trends: What Really Led to the Downfall of American Society".
I hate you for wearing my pain as your style.
*This post is from another blog I participate in. You can view the original here.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Theme for English B
by Langston Hughes
The instructor said,
Go home and write
a page tonight.
And let that page come out of you--
Then, it will be true.
I wonder if it's that simple?
I am twenty-two, colored, born in Winston-Salem.
I went to school there, then Durham, then here
to this college on the hill above Harlem.
I am the only colored student in my class.
The steps from the hill lead down into Harlem,
through a park, then I cross St. Nicholas,
Eighth Avenue, Seventh, and I come to the Y,
the Harlem Branch Y, where I take the elevator
up to my room, sit down, and write this page:
It's not easy to know what is true for you or me
at twenty-two, my age. But I guess I'm what
I feel and see and hear, Harlem, I hear you:
hear you, hear me--we two--you, me, talk on this page.
(I hear New York, too.) Me--who?
Well, I like to eat, sleep, drink, and be in love.
I like to work, read, learn, and understand life.
I like a pipe for a Christmas present,
or records--Bessie, bop, or Bach.
I guess being colored doesn't make me not like
the same things other folks like who are other races.
So will my page be colored that I write?
Being me, it will not be white.
But it will be
a part of you, instructor.
You are white--
yet a part of me, as I am a part of you.
That's American.
Sometimes perhaps you don't want to be a part of me.
Nor do I often want to be a part of you.
But we are, that's true!
As I learn from you,
I guess you learn from me--
although you're older--and white--
and somewhat more free.
This is my page for English B.
The instructor said,
Go home and write
a page tonight.
And let that page come out of you--
Then, it will be true.
I wonder if it's that simple?
I am twenty-two, colored, born in Winston-Salem.
I went to school there, then Durham, then here
to this college on the hill above Harlem.
I am the only colored student in my class.
The steps from the hill lead down into Harlem,
through a park, then I cross St. Nicholas,
Eighth Avenue, Seventh, and I come to the Y,
the Harlem Branch Y, where I take the elevator
up to my room, sit down, and write this page:
It's not easy to know what is true for you or me
at twenty-two, my age. But I guess I'm what
I feel and see and hear, Harlem, I hear you:
hear you, hear me--we two--you, me, talk on this page.
(I hear New York, too.) Me--who?
Well, I like to eat, sleep, drink, and be in love.
I like to work, read, learn, and understand life.
I like a pipe for a Christmas present,
or records--Bessie, bop, or Bach.
I guess being colored doesn't make me not like
the same things other folks like who are other races.
So will my page be colored that I write?
Being me, it will not be white.
But it will be
a part of you, instructor.
You are white--
yet a part of me, as I am a part of you.
That's American.
Sometimes perhaps you don't want to be a part of me.
Nor do I often want to be a part of you.
But we are, that's true!
As I learn from you,
I guess you learn from me--
although you're older--and white--
and somewhat more free.
This is my page for English B.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Back to School
Man oh man. I finished the second day of school today after staying in that building for 12 hours. Not how I intended my second day back to be but I guess that's the life I have chosen to lead currently. It's funny. I told myself that I would be more productive during the school day this year so that I could leave no later than 6 pm every day and I made it 2 days. But whatever. I mean, things happen that are beyond my control. I was switched from my cozy outdoor bungalow over the summer into a classroom in the main building so I had to pack all of my stuff up, figure out how to set up my new classroom, and get organized for a new year all in about 3 days, on top of going to workshops and meetings for the staff. Suffice to say, the ones that are really hurting from this awkward transition are the kids. I can handle the long days, the meetings where my female superiors discuss jewelry repair when they should be giving me assignments for the next few weeks, but when I am unable to get my materials for teaching ready in time and I am forced to push ahead while I am ill prepared, those I have chosen to serve are not getting what they deserve. But enough griping. It's a new year and I need to be positive.
I have three classes of 10th grade English. One has 18 students, which is incredible and will be very interesting because the other two have 36 students each (which is what I am used to). Since I began teaching I have been wishing for smaller classes and now that I have one, I don't know what to do. The class is an academy of business and computers where the students go through their core classes as a group for the next 3 years. This is for them to develop stronger relationships with one another, amongst other reasons, and it is really exciting for me to be a part of it. I will teach them as I teach my other English classes, however I will need to develop some more technical reading and writing assignments that will align with the business and computers aspect. I have also come to realize that given their size (half of my other classes) they will complete assignments much faster. I think it should be a good experience for me because I haven't taught too much of the technical writing conventions that I should be and the smaller class will help me develop more of a structure in my overall pedagogy.
I am looking forward to the new year, the new students, the new experiences in and out of the classroom. I will be taking my students on field trips, which is another new experience for me. Of course I will need a little input from other teachers as to what to do and how to handle all of my students on a field trip at the same time. Maybe I can get some of the other academy teachers to give me a hand. Or I can just post on craig's list for volunteer chaperones. Whichever works.
I will NOT allow my job to own me though. I am through with that shit. After the end of my year last year where I was putting in 12-18 hour days I realized why the attrition rate of new teachers is so high. I have been referred to as a "lifer" by a few teachers whom I greatly respect and I would like to think that I am down for life. Fuck it. I am down for life. I just need to better manage my own so I can stay on top of my game, nah mean?
I feel like I can do much better with this post than I just did. I apologize. I will rewrite it once I get some sleep.
I have three classes of 10th grade English. One has 18 students, which is incredible and will be very interesting because the other two have 36 students each (which is what I am used to). Since I began teaching I have been wishing for smaller classes and now that I have one, I don't know what to do. The class is an academy of business and computers where the students go through their core classes as a group for the next 3 years. This is for them to develop stronger relationships with one another, amongst other reasons, and it is really exciting for me to be a part of it. I will teach them as I teach my other English classes, however I will need to develop some more technical reading and writing assignments that will align with the business and computers aspect. I have also come to realize that given their size (half of my other classes) they will complete assignments much faster. I think it should be a good experience for me because I haven't taught too much of the technical writing conventions that I should be and the smaller class will help me develop more of a structure in my overall pedagogy.
I am looking forward to the new year, the new students, the new experiences in and out of the classroom. I will be taking my students on field trips, which is another new experience for me. Of course I will need a little input from other teachers as to what to do and how to handle all of my students on a field trip at the same time. Maybe I can get some of the other academy teachers to give me a hand. Or I can just post on craig's list for volunteer chaperones. Whichever works.
I will NOT allow my job to own me though. I am through with that shit. After the end of my year last year where I was putting in 12-18 hour days I realized why the attrition rate of new teachers is so high. I have been referred to as a "lifer" by a few teachers whom I greatly respect and I would like to think that I am down for life. Fuck it. I am down for life. I just need to better manage my own so I can stay on top of my game, nah mean?
I feel like I can do much better with this post than I just did. I apologize. I will rewrite it once I get some sleep.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
The Power of Words
I have been slowly developing a unit to teach my students with this title, intending to educate them on just how powerful and strong the words they use in every day language really are. I have been struggling with it though because the ideas I have are somewhat abstract in the sense that I cannot show them the direct impact a word has. I began preparing this one day after I realized how terrible the word "bitch" is. Now I will be the first to admit that I have used this word on many different occasions. I have used it to describe a woman who was rude and frustrating ("That girl is a fucking bitch!"), I have used it when speaking with male friends about their behavior ("Stop being such a little bitch and do it."), and I have used it when talking about how much something sucks("Ain't that a bitch."). Upon further reflection one day, it dawned on me that each use of this word, while used differently, all add to the misogynistic attitude our culture perpetuates towards females. As an educator, part of my job is to ensure that our children grow up understanding the world around them and not just the books they have to read. If I am to pass them on into the higher levels, I am saying that they are maturing and gaining a deeper understanding of what is happening around them. When I think about how often I hear this word being thrown around by boys and girls alike, in and out of the classroom, I fear that I may not be doing my job as I had originally intended. Of course it is foolish for me to think that I can begin to erase this common word from our vocabularies one class at a time, however it bothers me that it is wholly accepted that we use this word without considering the ramifications it holds for the future.
The first question that comes to mind for me is, "What is the male equivalent of a bitch?" Do you have an answer? Because I most certainly do not. I have tried to think of something but really there is nothing you can call a man that would be on the same level as when a woman is called a bitch. Or, for that matter, when you call a man a bitch, it is considered a double insult because not only are you referring to him as a woman, but you are referring to him as the woman whom everybody shares a distaste for.
When a woman is called a bitch by another woman, I feel that there has been some form of female code that has been broken. Maybe some words were said that shouldn't have been, maybe some actions took place that shouldn't have, you get the picture. But when a man calls a woman a bitch, there is so much wrong with it because essentially he is asserting his dominance by using a word that has no male equivalent. In a society where we preach how everyone is equal, using these words make it quite obvious that there is still an inequality, and it is unfortunately one that does not even get recognized due to its abundant usage in every day culture.
Take the music industry for example. When you look at the use of the word bitch in music, usually rap is drawn into the picture. I love rap. I've listened to rap since I can remember. But I also have made a conscious effort to exclude rap that is derogatory towards women, which is no easy task. If you listen to the radio, you'll undoubtedly hear the shitty, commercialized, popular music that throws bitch around with reckless abandon. Women are bitches, objects, to be treated with disrespect. Look at who is buying up all of this music: the children. Starting in middle school now you can hear 12-13 year old boys talking about how many bitches are at a school dance (that starts at 5:00 pm). It is absolutely disgusting. These kids are learning this word and it is becoming ingrained in their minds that is totally acceptable to refer to women in this way. Such is the same with the girls, which is even worse, because they are getting the message at an early age that they ARE objects that CAN be treated with disrespect. And how are they supposed to handle this treatment? Well, if they talk back and tell people to stop they are in turn called a bitch or some other derogatory name. And if they don't, if they sit back and let the words flow through them, they begin to believe that this is the reality and the entire cycle is perpetuated.
Do I have any solutions? Of course I can say stop using the word, but I feel as if it is too far gone at this point to eliminate such a powerful word from our language. What I will do is address this word when it comes up and offer dialog with my students. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't. But I feel we, as a society, as a culture, as a people, need to be aware of the impact our language has on us and those coming after us. If we truly want equality, we have to look at the way we speak with each other and what we deem as acceptable speech. We need self awareness. I always refer to the golden rule which I post in my classroom because I truly believe in it. If we treat others with respect, we in turn shall receive it. However direct or indirect it may be, we must be aware of the power within our words.
The first question that comes to mind for me is, "What is the male equivalent of a bitch?" Do you have an answer? Because I most certainly do not. I have tried to think of something but really there is nothing you can call a man that would be on the same level as when a woman is called a bitch. Or, for that matter, when you call a man a bitch, it is considered a double insult because not only are you referring to him as a woman, but you are referring to him as the woman whom everybody shares a distaste for.
When a woman is called a bitch by another woman, I feel that there has been some form of female code that has been broken. Maybe some words were said that shouldn't have been, maybe some actions took place that shouldn't have, you get the picture. But when a man calls a woman a bitch, there is so much wrong with it because essentially he is asserting his dominance by using a word that has no male equivalent. In a society where we preach how everyone is equal, using these words make it quite obvious that there is still an inequality, and it is unfortunately one that does not even get recognized due to its abundant usage in every day culture.
Take the music industry for example. When you look at the use of the word bitch in music, usually rap is drawn into the picture. I love rap. I've listened to rap since I can remember. But I also have made a conscious effort to exclude rap that is derogatory towards women, which is no easy task. If you listen to the radio, you'll undoubtedly hear the shitty, commercialized, popular music that throws bitch around with reckless abandon. Women are bitches, objects, to be treated with disrespect. Look at who is buying up all of this music: the children. Starting in middle school now you can hear 12-13 year old boys talking about how many bitches are at a school dance (that starts at 5:00 pm). It is absolutely disgusting. These kids are learning this word and it is becoming ingrained in their minds that is totally acceptable to refer to women in this way. Such is the same with the girls, which is even worse, because they are getting the message at an early age that they ARE objects that CAN be treated with disrespect. And how are they supposed to handle this treatment? Well, if they talk back and tell people to stop they are in turn called a bitch or some other derogatory name. And if they don't, if they sit back and let the words flow through them, they begin to believe that this is the reality and the entire cycle is perpetuated.
Do I have any solutions? Of course I can say stop using the word, but I feel as if it is too far gone at this point to eliminate such a powerful word from our language. What I will do is address this word when it comes up and offer dialog with my students. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't. But I feel we, as a society, as a culture, as a people, need to be aware of the impact our language has on us and those coming after us. If we truly want equality, we have to look at the way we speak with each other and what we deem as acceptable speech. We need self awareness. I always refer to the golden rule which I post in my classroom because I truly believe in it. If we treat others with respect, we in turn shall receive it. However direct or indirect it may be, we must be aware of the power within our words.
Voices
It's not every day when you can hear a voice and fall in love with it. I have been so lucky, or unlucky seeing as how my emotion is misdirected towards a voice I will never meet, to have fallen in love with two voices. The first voice is that of Emma Clarke. She is the voice every Londoner knows all too well as they ride the tube around town. Her soft, comforting (yet sensual) voice caresses your ears as you ride along, passing "Kings Cross, St. Pancras" on your way to Camden Town or Edgeware. There were days when I would ride the circle line all the way around from Bayswater to Paddington and just lose myself in her beauty. I would doze off, dreaming of what she looked like. Surely this magical voice was matched by a body just as heavenly. Some days I remember thinking that I would one day find her. I had the same discussion with many other men and we all felt the same way.
When she would say "Mind the Gap" you would feel as if she truly cared for your safety and your safety alone. I never left the tube in a foul mood. I had Emma's voice to keep me comfortable and calm. Of course, I never saw what she looked like, nor did I ever get the chance to meet her. It wasn't until I sat down and started writing this that I even knew her real name. I will forever remember her as the voice of all that is beautiful in life. Thank you Emma.
The other voice I have fallen in love with is that of Cat Power, a female musician that can bring me to my knees after a single note. I rediscovered her a while back after talking to a friend of mine about female voices and how beautiful they can be. He then mentioned Cat Power being one of the most moving shows he has ever seen and I remembered that one day I listened to her and the world stopped. I was swallowed whole by her lyrics and felt as if I was swimming in down feathers, slowly falling and flying. Call it what you will, but that feeling is hard to come by. Only two voices have had that effect on me and I feel blessed. I am sure there are some people who can fall in love with a voice with reckless abandon and leave it just as quickly when a new one enters their ears. And then there are others who will go their whole lives without ever hearing Emma tell them to "Mind the Gap" or get a chance to listen to Cat Power's rendition of "Sea of Love". I don't know what I would do if I didn't have their voices with me.
Writing about these voices also makes me think about the power of a voice in general. There are voices that will draw the rawest forms of emotion from deep within when you least expect it. There have been times when all I want to hear is my mother's voice and when I do, it drops me to the floor. Then there are those times when I hear the voice of a particular person from work or my life and I cringe. I have had moments when I hear a voice and it takes me from a calm and happy place to one of total annoyance and it throws me off guard every time because all I heard was the voice of someone. It wasn't the words, it wasn't the actions, it was just the sound of their voice. When it comes to musicians, I feel like everyone has a song or two that they can listen to to put themselves in any mood they desire. I have my sad songs, my happy songs, my leave-me-the-fuck-alone songs, my I'm-so-in-love-I-can't-breathe songs, and so on. A lot of times it isn't even the lyrics or the music itself, but the sound of the voices and the associations I have between them and my emotion. It's as if my heart sings to in response to the sound of others. While this may sound like the sappiest thoughts, it's what has been filling my mind recently. I don't mean to write as if these are new, original thoughts. I am sure people have had these revelations before, albeit they have probably kept them to themselves as it is pretty self evident that voices of musicians and loved ones can draw out emotions, however it's nice to think about voices that make you happy (or sad or angry or just feel emotions) because I feel like sometimes we don't take the time to enjoy the sound of others. Sometimes I feel as if I focus so much on what is being said and not enough on how it is said. Vocabulary be damned, give me a sweet voice telling me good morning and I will give you gold. Just waking up to the humming or sound of someone you enjoy talking to and there is nothing that compares.
If I could embed audio in this stupid blog I would play you Cat Power, but I don't know how so I won't. Instead, go here.
When she would say "Mind the Gap" you would feel as if she truly cared for your safety and your safety alone. I never left the tube in a foul mood. I had Emma's voice to keep me comfortable and calm. Of course, I never saw what she looked like, nor did I ever get the chance to meet her. It wasn't until I sat down and started writing this that I even knew her real name. I will forever remember her as the voice of all that is beautiful in life. Thank you Emma.
The other voice I have fallen in love with is that of Cat Power, a female musician that can bring me to my knees after a single note. I rediscovered her a while back after talking to a friend of mine about female voices and how beautiful they can be. He then mentioned Cat Power being one of the most moving shows he has ever seen and I remembered that one day I listened to her and the world stopped. I was swallowed whole by her lyrics and felt as if I was swimming in down feathers, slowly falling and flying. Call it what you will, but that feeling is hard to come by. Only two voices have had that effect on me and I feel blessed. I am sure there are some people who can fall in love with a voice with reckless abandon and leave it just as quickly when a new one enters their ears. And then there are others who will go their whole lives without ever hearing Emma tell them to "Mind the Gap" or get a chance to listen to Cat Power's rendition of "Sea of Love". I don't know what I would do if I didn't have their voices with me.
Writing about these voices also makes me think about the power of a voice in general. There are voices that will draw the rawest forms of emotion from deep within when you least expect it. There have been times when all I want to hear is my mother's voice and when I do, it drops me to the floor. Then there are those times when I hear the voice of a particular person from work or my life and I cringe. I have had moments when I hear a voice and it takes me from a calm and happy place to one of total annoyance and it throws me off guard every time because all I heard was the voice of someone. It wasn't the words, it wasn't the actions, it was just the sound of their voice. When it comes to musicians, I feel like everyone has a song or two that they can listen to to put themselves in any mood they desire. I have my sad songs, my happy songs, my leave-me-the-fuck-alone songs, my I'm-so-in-love-I-can't-breathe songs, and so on. A lot of times it isn't even the lyrics or the music itself, but the sound of the voices and the associations I have between them and my emotion. It's as if my heart sings to in response to the sound of others. While this may sound like the sappiest thoughts, it's what has been filling my mind recently. I don't mean to write as if these are new, original thoughts. I am sure people have had these revelations before, albeit they have probably kept them to themselves as it is pretty self evident that voices of musicians and loved ones can draw out emotions, however it's nice to think about voices that make you happy (or sad or angry or just feel emotions) because I feel like sometimes we don't take the time to enjoy the sound of others. Sometimes I feel as if I focus so much on what is being said and not enough on how it is said. Vocabulary be damned, give me a sweet voice telling me good morning and I will give you gold. Just waking up to the humming or sound of someone you enjoy talking to and there is nothing that compares.
If I could embed audio in this stupid blog I would play you Cat Power, but I don't know how so I won't. Instead, go here.
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Ryan Silberman is awesome
One of the things I have realized in my tenure as a blogger is that Ryan Silberman, and his wife Emily are awesome. Ryan has the grace of a dancing butterfly floating about, but the stern brashness of a homeless person upset at your donation. His utter calmness in times of extreme emergency and terror are uncanny to anything I have ever seen, he is operating on one heart beat a minute. His intelligence cannot even be described here, although I will try. He can think fast , like a cheetah, he processes information in his head that the super computers in the bowels of Google can only dream of processing. He can perform mathematical functions in his head that the guy that invented the calculator can't even figure out. His strength is that of a Caterpillar giant mining machine that lifts thousands of tons of dirt at once. His politeness is s insane that strangers thank him for things he hasn't even done. His looks are so good that people often faint when he walks by. And most important of all, I worship him, plain and simple. I Charles Brinton worship Ryan Silberman, there I said it. Ryan is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
A Life Unknown: My experience at Comic Con 2008
My first experience with people dressing up in costumes for an event goes back to the days of the Renaissance Fair where my cousin dressed as the town drunk, got drunk, and ran around drunk off of mead people had prepared. I remember the bewilderment I felt as I walked through this small valley and people were dressed in clothing I had never seen before, speaking in a language unfamiliar to me. It was so intriguing to me that I wanted to be a part of it when I was old enough. Unfortunately for this story, years passed by and so did my interest in the Renaissance Fair. I haven't been in years, nor do I really have the desire to attend it any more. I guess I feel like adults dressing up for a particular theme and really going after their role for no good reason other than to do it is boring and really not my cup of tea.
That being said, if the renaissance fair isn't my cup of tea, Comic Con is my cup of coffee.
I attended this event Friday and Saturday. The friends of mine from college who were there had been there since Wednesday, going around to see as much as they could because they had specific goals for the trip. One of my friends collects vinyl toys, many of which were being sold in limited editions at the event. Upon my arrival, I had no idea what to expect. I had seen a few pictures and heard about how many people show up, but I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.
Day One
We arrived fairly early to get a good start, which was around 10am. As soon as we stepped on the train, I knew we were in for a treat as there were 2 Ghostbusters already on. They had their proton packs on with their name tags on front, ready for any ghosts they might encounter. As the train crept closer to the convention center, more and more people were getting on the train who OBVIOUSLY were going to Comic Con. As far as the train is concerned, there were a lot more men than women dressed up for it, as was expected. I had been told earlier that quite a few women dressed up for this but I was a bit skeptical as all of the girls I knew growing up and still know really never had much interest in comics.
So we arrive at the center and it was packed.
I had never been to the San Diego Convention Center before, so I didn't know what to expect in terms of size. I had been to an activities director conference at the town and country a few years back and thought that was huge. When we went inside I soon realized it paled in comparison. There were literally blocks set up with giant signs indicating where you were. The blocks ranged from 100 all the way up to 5000. There were huge booths set up for the big vendors like Marvel Comics and Disney. Lego had a big area, as did some of the network TV stations. There was a Dharma Initiative station for those who are addicted to Lost, there was a booth for shows like The Office and 30 Rock, and there were a ton of random movie stars, musicians and athletes there as well.
As we wandered around the convention, I noticed many things. Obviously, there were a ton of people in costume. There were singles, couples, and families wandering around dressed as their favorite cartoon, comic, or movie character. The most popular costumes were Batman and Robin, the newest Joker, and a bunch of anime characters whom I had no idea who they were. There were also a ton of Star Wars characters, which were my favorite. Here are a few of the pics:
Mr. Hustle has a posse
The pictures above were the norm for the convention. While the plain clothed outnumbered the costumed, there were so many people in some form of costume that I sometimes was unable to tell if someone was wearing a costume or not, but that soon became irrelevant as I suddenly found myself at ease with all of these costumed fans. I will post a link to my flickr page where you can view the photos in their entirety at the end of this post.
As you will see in the photos, there was quite a large amount of teenagers in attendance. "Of course Mr. Hustle", you might say, "it's a comic book convention." Yes yes, I know that teenagers love comics. What I mention it for though is not my amazement at their attendance, but more of the choices they made while they were there. I was disturbed by the volume of signs I saw these teenagers holding that read, "FREE HUGS" or "Hug meter low, in need of affection". It was odd to see kids, much like those I teach, asking complete strangers for hugs. Or hoping that they would be asked for a hug. For a minute, amidst the drugs and the bright lights and costumes, I thought I was at a rave. I remembered those sweet days and nights of ecstasy and mushrooms and grass and loud music and candy ravers hugging you until you felt your heart would explode from all the fucking love surrounding you. At those parties teenagers hugging complete strangers was somehow okay because you were high and nobody gave a fuck and it was all about love and feeling each others' auras (but mostly getting fucked up). Now though, as I walk around this convention center, surrounded by the oddest folks I've ever been surrounded by (aside from my recent venture into Alaska), it didn't feel right to have these children asking for hugs from strangers. Am I wrong for letting this disturb me? I mean, a hug is what you make of it, but if I had a teenage daughter or son and they were giving out free hugs to complete strangers I would be a little bothered. Maybe that's my conservative side, but it was weird. Here's a few shots:
While in San Diego, I also learned about a few things that may or may not be of some interest to you. The first is pretty basic and it is referred to as "cosplay". Apparently, cosplay is short for costume play, where you dress up as a character and act like them. Hence the storm and scout troopers constantly talking about finding "those pesky droids". Maybe this is old news to anybody reading this, but I had never heard of cosplay. The closest I had heard was some weird sexual thing called plushies where people put on huge furry costumes and hump each other. HBO had some weird special on it and I got kinda freaked out so now I avoid all furry costumed people.
Another term I learned about, which I was able to witness on one occasion, was "LARPing". LARPing stands for "Live Action Role Playing". This is where people are dressed up in the costumes and there is a story teller who essentially tells them what to do and how to do it. Like, if there are two people dressed up as knights, and they are fighting each other, the storyteller would say something like, "The black knight struck down the green knight and took 5 energy clouds away from him. You must fall down." And then, the green knight would get hit hard by the black knight and fall down, moaning. Or something. I don't really know. But there were groups of people dressed as special forces soldiers with really real looking guns running around using hand signals and shit and it was kind of freaking me out until my friend Jim explained what they were doing. That being said, LARPing still freaks me out. It's like a super duty Dungeons and Dragons for adults.
At the end of the first day something rather odd happened, which I will retell in a different post.
DAY TWO
Day two was much more mellow. We walked around for a while and I took a ton more photos. I also spent a lot of money on random little things because I have some weird obsession with collecting crap that serves no real purpose. I did however get some pretty cool posters that are giant, basic, comic strips. They will look nice once they're framed in my house.
At the end of the day, we went to the masquerade. The masquerade was incredible. Only people who made their own costumes were allowed to enter. We showed up late and left early, mostly because we were in the back row and it wasn't that great. However, by some divine act, we witnessed the majority of the winning costumes parade across the stage. Here is a short clip of the costume that won the masquerade.
I would post the video, but I have no idea how.
All in all, the Comic Con experience was fun and like nothing else I have ever experienced. If any of what I have written is appealing to you or anybody that you know, please do not hesitate to check it out next year. San Diego is a fun town and the Comic Con experience is insane. In order to get a better understanding of what I am talking about, you have check out the link to my flickr page and view the Comic Con set.
I hope you enjoy this.
Hawk and Dove: The Ambiguously Gay Duo
That being said, if the renaissance fair isn't my cup of tea, Comic Con is my cup of coffee.
I attended this event Friday and Saturday. The friends of mine from college who were there had been there since Wednesday, going around to see as much as they could because they had specific goals for the trip. One of my friends collects vinyl toys, many of which were being sold in limited editions at the event. Upon my arrival, I had no idea what to expect. I had seen a few pictures and heard about how many people show up, but I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.
Day One
We arrived fairly early to get a good start, which was around 10am. As soon as we stepped on the train, I knew we were in for a treat as there were 2 Ghostbusters already on. They had their proton packs on with their name tags on front, ready for any ghosts they might encounter. As the train crept closer to the convention center, more and more people were getting on the train who OBVIOUSLY were going to Comic Con. As far as the train is concerned, there were a lot more men than women dressed up for it, as was expected. I had been told earlier that quite a few women dressed up for this but I was a bit skeptical as all of the girls I knew growing up and still know really never had much interest in comics.
So we arrive at the center and it was packed.
I had never been to the San Diego Convention Center before, so I didn't know what to expect in terms of size. I had been to an activities director conference at the town and country a few years back and thought that was huge. When we went inside I soon realized it paled in comparison. There were literally blocks set up with giant signs indicating where you were. The blocks ranged from 100 all the way up to 5000. There were huge booths set up for the big vendors like Marvel Comics and Disney. Lego had a big area, as did some of the network TV stations. There was a Dharma Initiative station for those who are addicted to Lost, there was a booth for shows like The Office and 30 Rock, and there were a ton of random movie stars, musicians and athletes there as well.
As we wandered around the convention, I noticed many things. Obviously, there were a ton of people in costume. There were singles, couples, and families wandering around dressed as their favorite cartoon, comic, or movie character. The most popular costumes were Batman and Robin, the newest Joker, and a bunch of anime characters whom I had no idea who they were. There were also a ton of Star Wars characters, which were my favorite. Here are a few of the pics:
Mr. Hustle has a posse
The pictures above were the norm for the convention. While the plain clothed outnumbered the costumed, there were so many people in some form of costume that I sometimes was unable to tell if someone was wearing a costume or not, but that soon became irrelevant as I suddenly found myself at ease with all of these costumed fans. I will post a link to my flickr page where you can view the photos in their entirety at the end of this post.
As you will see in the photos, there was quite a large amount of teenagers in attendance. "Of course Mr. Hustle", you might say, "it's a comic book convention." Yes yes, I know that teenagers love comics. What I mention it for though is not my amazement at their attendance, but more of the choices they made while they were there. I was disturbed by the volume of signs I saw these teenagers holding that read, "FREE HUGS" or "Hug meter low, in need of affection". It was odd to see kids, much like those I teach, asking complete strangers for hugs. Or hoping that they would be asked for a hug. For a minute, amidst the drugs and the bright lights and costumes, I thought I was at a rave. I remembered those sweet days and nights of ecstasy and mushrooms and grass and loud music and candy ravers hugging you until you felt your heart would explode from all the fucking love surrounding you. At those parties teenagers hugging complete strangers was somehow okay because you were high and nobody gave a fuck and it was all about love and feeling each others' auras (but mostly getting fucked up). Now though, as I walk around this convention center, surrounded by the oddest folks I've ever been surrounded by (aside from my recent venture into Alaska), it didn't feel right to have these children asking for hugs from strangers. Am I wrong for letting this disturb me? I mean, a hug is what you make of it, but if I had a teenage daughter or son and they were giving out free hugs to complete strangers I would be a little bothered. Maybe that's my conservative side, but it was weird. Here's a few shots:
While in San Diego, I also learned about a few things that may or may not be of some interest to you. The first is pretty basic and it is referred to as "cosplay". Apparently, cosplay is short for costume play, where you dress up as a character and act like them. Hence the storm and scout troopers constantly talking about finding "those pesky droids". Maybe this is old news to anybody reading this, but I had never heard of cosplay. The closest I had heard was some weird sexual thing called plushies where people put on huge furry costumes and hump each other. HBO had some weird special on it and I got kinda freaked out so now I avoid all furry costumed people.
Another term I learned about, which I was able to witness on one occasion, was "LARPing". LARPing stands for "Live Action Role Playing". This is where people are dressed up in the costumes and there is a story teller who essentially tells them what to do and how to do it. Like, if there are two people dressed up as knights, and they are fighting each other, the storyteller would say something like, "The black knight struck down the green knight and took 5 energy clouds away from him. You must fall down." And then, the green knight would get hit hard by the black knight and fall down, moaning. Or something. I don't really know. But there were groups of people dressed as special forces soldiers with really real looking guns running around using hand signals and shit and it was kind of freaking me out until my friend Jim explained what they were doing. That being said, LARPing still freaks me out. It's like a super duty Dungeons and Dragons for adults.
At the end of the first day something rather odd happened, which I will retell in a different post.
DAY TWO
Day two was much more mellow. We walked around for a while and I took a ton more photos. I also spent a lot of money on random little things because I have some weird obsession with collecting crap that serves no real purpose. I did however get some pretty cool posters that are giant, basic, comic strips. They will look nice once they're framed in my house.
At the end of the day, we went to the masquerade. The masquerade was incredible. Only people who made their own costumes were allowed to enter. We showed up late and left early, mostly because we were in the back row and it wasn't that great. However, by some divine act, we witnessed the majority of the winning costumes parade across the stage. Here is a short clip of the costume that won the masquerade.
I would post the video, but I have no idea how.
All in all, the Comic Con experience was fun and like nothing else I have ever experienced. If any of what I have written is appealing to you or anybody that you know, please do not hesitate to check it out next year. San Diego is a fun town and the Comic Con experience is insane. In order to get a better understanding of what I am talking about, you have check out the link to my flickr page and view the Comic Con set.
I hope you enjoy this.
Hawk and Dove: The Ambiguously Gay Duo
Monday, July 28, 2008
Email Subject
I was just thinking about what I title my emails to friends. Sometimes they are clever and creative, but looking through my outbox I have realized that the majority of my emails to friends have been titled "Hey" or "Hi". Now, emails in and of themselves are pretty impersonal. I mean, when I was growing up, handwritten letters were awesome. Girls would decorate them and put shit in the envelopes so when you'd open them glitter and stuff would fall out and while that seems annoying, it was the best feeling because it meant that someone had spent time thinking about you, writing you a letter, and thought it would be a nice surprise for you when you opened it. Unfortunately, those days seem to be gone.
But in terms of email subjects, "hey" and "what's up" are so boring and I feel like such a loser when I do it but how does one really come up with a clever title? I mean, with email, do people really think about what the title says or do they read the name of who is sending it and just open it without giving any thought to the subject that someone may have spent a considerable amount of time developing? I have written short stories and attempted (quite unsuccessfully) to write a short novel and when pressed with creating the titles have had a very tough time. I mean, when it comes down to a book or story, the title can make or break you. Is this the case with an email? I mean, I will read anything that is written to me (or to someone else) no matter what the title, but I am definitely more apt to read with enthusiasm when there is a clever title. Like when you read Flannery O'Connor's "Everything That Rises Must Converge" you want to know what is going to rise, what will converge. At least that's what I think about when I read that title. (read it here)
But in terms of email, how does one create a clever title? do you write the first half of an obscure sentence and then complete it as the first line in your email? Do you pose a question? Do you develop a catchy rhyme? I am really at a loss because I find myself constantly struggling to come up with some better way of personalizing an impersonal message, yet always end up with "hey". Here's an idea I would like to see come to fruition: Let's stop emailing each other for a whole month and instead write letters. Now, for obvious reasons, this isn't totally possible because you have to use email now in order to get things done in a timely fashion. But what about those hey letters? I mean, think about the last time you received a handwritten letter in the mail and how good it made you feel? Fuck, forget the letter itself, just receiving an envelope with your name handwritten on it is good enough. Mixed in amongst the bills and solicitations and crappy oriental trading co. and j.crew catalogs. Maybe we should write emails, print them out, and mail them in a hand addressed envelope since writing actual letters takes so long. Then we get to utilize technology AND know that someone is smiling when they get the mail. I actually don't like that idea at all, but it seems as if all people want to do these days to communicate with each other is through email and text messages, which drive me in-fucking-sane. If you're going to say something to me, call me. Don't send me some obscure text saying maybe we should hang out and then not call but get mad at me for not calling (you know who you are).
All of this aside, I think there needs to be more thought put into email titles. that's all. Let's personalize the impersonal.
But in terms of email subjects, "hey" and "what's up" are so boring and I feel like such a loser when I do it but how does one really come up with a clever title? I mean, with email, do people really think about what the title says or do they read the name of who is sending it and just open it without giving any thought to the subject that someone may have spent a considerable amount of time developing? I have written short stories and attempted (quite unsuccessfully) to write a short novel and when pressed with creating the titles have had a very tough time. I mean, when it comes down to a book or story, the title can make or break you. Is this the case with an email? I mean, I will read anything that is written to me (or to someone else) no matter what the title, but I am definitely more apt to read with enthusiasm when there is a clever title. Like when you read Flannery O'Connor's "Everything That Rises Must Converge" you want to know what is going to rise, what will converge. At least that's what I think about when I read that title. (read it here)
But in terms of email, how does one create a clever title? do you write the first half of an obscure sentence and then complete it as the first line in your email? Do you pose a question? Do you develop a catchy rhyme? I am really at a loss because I find myself constantly struggling to come up with some better way of personalizing an impersonal message, yet always end up with "hey". Here's an idea I would like to see come to fruition: Let's stop emailing each other for a whole month and instead write letters. Now, for obvious reasons, this isn't totally possible because you have to use email now in order to get things done in a timely fashion. But what about those hey letters? I mean, think about the last time you received a handwritten letter in the mail and how good it made you feel? Fuck, forget the letter itself, just receiving an envelope with your name handwritten on it is good enough. Mixed in amongst the bills and solicitations and crappy oriental trading co. and j.crew catalogs. Maybe we should write emails, print them out, and mail them in a hand addressed envelope since writing actual letters takes so long. Then we get to utilize technology AND know that someone is smiling when they get the mail. I actually don't like that idea at all, but it seems as if all people want to do these days to communicate with each other is through email and text messages, which drive me in-fucking-sane. If you're going to say something to me, call me. Don't send me some obscure text saying maybe we should hang out and then not call but get mad at me for not calling (you know who you are).
All of this aside, I think there needs to be more thought put into email titles. that's all. Let's personalize the impersonal.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
